Today was one of those marvellous days though it didn't start out as such, it took approximately 3 hours before I could focus on anything. It happens with increasing frequency but I'm beginning to grow accustomed to it and not panicking as much I initially did. The restrictions and dependency imposed on people with acquired dual sensory loss can be hard to deal with. Sometimes, if no one is around to help I've plucked up the courage to walk to the local shop, though only in the early evenings when the painful brightness of daylight is receding, it's only a few minutes walk away but the trip involves crossing two roads, neither could be termed busy but any road is a challenge when the traffic can neither be seen nor heard. Filled with bravado I'll venture across with both arms outstretched muttering “que sara sara” hoping any vehicles will miss me. No one was around today and it was too early even on a dull rainy day for me to risk the short trip, when my vision settled I turned on my beloved PC and messaged my younger daughter who was elsewhere in hope she could suggest something. Young people today get so much criticism but I've yet to find one youngster who has refused to help, via messages my daughter told me one of her young friends would pop round and go to the shop for me. The kindness of people never fails to touch me.
As it turned out the kind young man was spared the trip to the shop by the unexpected arrival of my brother and sister in law, little do they know the positive impact of their visit, they live some distance away so visits are rare and infrequent but such positive boosts. Both are incredibly inspiring caring people who allow me to talk at length, listen and take the effort to make themselves understood I talk for hours which must be annoying but they tolerate me so well. Any friends I had have frittered away partly because of the difficulties communicating, I miss some of them greatly not least because of the companionship but in truth its easier avoiding social situations, people simply can't understand the extent of my problems regardless to how sympathetic they are. My life revolves round my children and grandchildren, however regardless to how close we are to these important people they don't know us as adults or anything but the roles we play and like friends who knew us before sever sensory loss they can't grasp the significance. The truth is what you can't see you can't possibly comprehend. My brother and sister in law have spent their lives helping others, seeing the work they do encouraged me to fight against inequality and discrimination. Today thanks to them I felt like a normal person conversing in a normal fashion.
Once upon a time I was quite driven and active, involved in a host of things with a few achievements to my name including a change of law, how quickly life can change and turn the world upside down. It took me a few years to come to terms with my sensory problems and discover there is help out there and there are means of communications available. Now once again that drive is returning and growing more and more each day, there's a sense of urgency involved, urgency to make impact, make people aware and above all prevent others from suffering unnecessary isolation. I didn't manage to send my usual deluge of emails today. Usually I bombard MP's and everyone else I can think of demanding change and recognition, hopefully now the holidays are over I can start harassing officials with a vengeance and get back to touring the country giving speeches and making myself heard.
I'm so very glad I my wonderful brother and sister in law stopped by today, companionship means everything and a little understanding can change the world...
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