All's Well That Ends Well.

The last few weeks have been anything but settled. I had to concede defeat vision wise and curtail my usual umpteen posts on facebook, twitter and my blogs, writing was painful and extremely difficult, I always dread the days when even increasing font to huge proportions won't help ability to read because everything in blurred beyond recognition. Times like that tend to make my already poor balance even more haphazard, dual sensory loss can have enormous affect on ability to walk a straight line. That's where the red and white symbolic stick and dark glasses help people distinguish my staggering as visionary problems rather than someone who's had a tipple or two to many. It's rather ironic really, I don't drink and can't recall a time when I've been inebriated and certainly not enough to leave me staggering!

I've mentioned before on days when vision is severely limited and balance poor, it's impossible to find anything constructive to do, even simple exercise is a challenge and a half so I find myself laying in bed unable to focus on anything and a danger to myself. Remaining inactive for days on end is unhealthy for anyone, the hours drag by over the last few weeks I've spent as much as 16 hours a day laying doing nothing other than cat nap hoping every time I open my eyes I'll see a little clearer again. It's odd the way my remaining vision tends to come and go without warning, a bit scary and sometimes depressing too. I'd give anything to feel a valued member of society again. It really isn't a case of lack of effort or desire, society just won't make allowances for me or those like me.

Naturally being a survivor and fighter who doesn't accept limitations willingly can take it's toll sometimes. Stress and lack of activity finally got the better of me last week when my heart rate went into overdrive, fortunately my grandson was on hand to call the health centre else I dread to think what would've happened. I've the highest respect for paramedics in general but had a run in with one particular chap last year that left me shocked and angry. He'd been called out to attend my granddaughter who had breathing difficulties because of an infection. His attitude towards me when I explained I was deafblind was dismissive and almost ridiculing. After a formal complaint to the ambulance service I was assured deafblind awareness would be promoted to all staff in future.

When the health center called an ambulance last week I was nervous about how they'd communicate with me and how they'd react but they took pains to make sure I understood them. Mind you, when they told me I was about to have a heart attack, my pulse was over 130 and I was in bad shape, I think I'd have rather not have understood them!!

Unfortunately the doctors at the hospital didn't make the same degree of effort to clarify what the problem was, after giving me this and that they agreed I could return home none the wiser to what had actually gone wrong. Maybe ignorance is bliss.

Fortunately I've got my marvellous support worker who'll accompany me to my next appointment and along with an electronic note taker I'll hopefully be able to tell the doctor what help I think I need and read what they intend to do.

Tonight I have written again and can see enough to read my type. All's well that ends well...