Books. books. Once upon a time... I'd read an entire book a night. Which wasn't always wise when living in the outback the bush or some other godforsaken place.
Imagine sitting under a tree in a dark dense wood in the middle of nowhere. There's no moonlight. You curl up under the base of a tree with only an old torch and an open book. Suddenly. The silence is broken by the rustling of leaves close by followed by a crunch of twigs underfoot. You jump in alarm when the light from the torch begins to flicker...
Okay, okay, the last paragraph was a joke the rest was factual. I really loved my life and freedom as a child, I had no idea how the unique, isolated lonely life would impact me and my association with other humans. My relationship with people outside my direct family was non-existent. I was always an outsider, always had a different accent, couldn't fit in at school because it was always different subjects. Different games, attitudes, behaviour, expectations and, I was teased and bullied mercilessly because of my long curly bright red hair. it was the same everywhere except in India. I don't know what was worse. Constant bullying or, dozens of adults and children constantly gathering around me trying to touch my hair smiling and chattering loudly.
I always thought my mother was lying when she claimed a well-known Maharaja had informed someone to ask her if she would sell me for three elephants and some land, she successfully used the threat to sell me for a long time. Years later, I learned something that made me think she may have been telling the truth.
"Red is an auspicious, sacred colour in Hinduism. Used widely in social and religious functions. It's a symbol of ardent affection, passion, and sacrifice. Scientific and psychological studies say, "Red enhances positive feelings". In my case, it's more 'red flag to bull'.
My idea of absolute heaven was to sit beside ants' nests. I'd take treats and place them close by, they love sugar and anything containing sugar. They love fruits, meats etc. They are seriously misunderstood and undervalued by humans. I spend every spare moment, day or night sitting beside an ant's nest book in hand. These fantastic life-forces are the most intelligent insects on earth. They are in the bible "Proverbs 6:6-8. Greek God Zeus turned into an ant and his son Myrmidon was an ant. The study of ants is called "Myrmecology" named after Zeus's son.
There were times when I craved human company, but the truth is they didn't understand me or I them. Deafblindness changed me forever. I like to think it benefited me too, it enhanced my sense of empathy and awareness but didn't change the isolation or stop me from feeling like an outsider everywhere I went.
Nowadays I love speaking in public about things that matter. I don't lay claim to being a great speaker but I'm passionate and love to talk about life disabilities and learning to understand and tolerate each other.
There aren't enough words to describe my happiness at seeing shapes and colours again it's only a minuscule bit of vision in one eye but it's incredible even being able to see the difference between night and day again. I can see moving things too. My friend and I were out for lunch in the local garden centre, my friend was looking at trees for her garden and called me over and excitedly told me to hold out my hand. Then she placed two tiny ants onto my upturned palm. I squealed with excitement. They were tiny tree ants. So tiny that I struggled to see them as they ran hurriedly up and down my hand. I knew what species they were. Called Formica and known as F aquilona. They were wood ants which generally live on the ground and feed on insects on birch trees. Their species is dying out in some areas of the UK.
Although it's been many years since I last read it, I keep a copy of "The Complete Works of Shakespeare" beside the bed as a reminder of happier times reading it in various spectacular locations. I adored reading to my children until that was no longer possible. I gave most of my diverse book collection away. However recently I found a box in the back of a cupboard filled with children's books. Enid Blyton's Magic Far Away Tree. The Tiger Who Came to Tea. Wind in the Willows and others. Happy memories of reading goodnight stories to the children and grandchildren...
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