Weekly Washing Woes

A friend was talking about the old twin-tub washing machines that finally went out of fashion in the early 1980s with the advent of modern machines. I couldn't help but think back to my experience with a twin-tub machine.

My children were small, so my twin-tub was always on the go. Sometimes I needed to do a couple of separate loads of washing to keep on top of things. It was a particularly busy day, the kids were getting under my feet, and I had two separate loads of washing to get through. The first lot was washed and spun. And the second load had started its wash cycle, I was about to breathe a sigh of relief when the machine stopped suddenly in mid-wash. I was aghast, I couldn't take the children and the washing down to my mother's or my mother-in-law's. For a start, my mother never cleaned. She was far too glamorous for that; she had a housekeeper, even in the outback of Australia and the edge of the South African jungle, she still managed to find house cleaners to employ. I couldn't think who I could call on to help, then, suddenly. I had a brainwave. Living in isolated places, you see people using all sorts of strange methods to resolve tricky situations. I vaguely remembered watching someone siphon petrol from a car into a can. What a brainwave! I got the big, long tube from the washing machine and placed one end in the filthy, soapy water. Then, without further ado, I stood over the machine, placed the dry side of the tube in my mouth and took a gawd almighty suck!! It all happened so fast. Suddenly, I was choking and unable to take in air, the filthy, smelly, soapy water was clogging my throat. No air at all was getting into my lungs from my throat or nose. I staggered back and collapsed on the floor. Just then, my children came into the room. My eldest daughter wasn't quite five years old. Her little sister was just three, and my son, the baby, was 17 months old. The four-year-old sister was parading around the house with one of my bras around her neck (unfortunately, a tatty old one). Her little sister had one black stocking hanging from one of her arms. My baby son was caked in makeup and lipstick.. I think they all realised Mummy was in trouble because of the way I was pointing frantically to my throat. Clever little children panicked and ran out of the house, leaving me to my fate. I never found out which neighbour they went to first, but they came back very quickly with half the entire neighbourhood in tow.

Fortunately, the adults wasted no time in calling 999 and an Ambulence. deciding who would care for the children and getting the men to work on my washing machine. No one had a clue what had happened; the neighbourhood thought I'd had a heart attack!!

At the hospital, I was rushed into the Crash unit. Doctors and nurses surprised me. "Her pulse is extremely high noted one. It seemed they all had something to say while I lay there, unable to speak, crying internally, "WATER U NEED WATER." No one could understand by blabbering, I have no idea how long I lay there with all these doctors giving different opinions. Finally, I dont know how I managed it, but somehow I croaked "WATER" A shape nurse managed toi work out what I was saying, she brought over some water and held my head while I carefully sipped it. Never before or since have I sipped anything as wonderful as that fresh water. The endlessly kind neighours looked after the children, feeding and bathing them, then getting them into bed and telling them stories. I could hardly look at the neighbours, they made such a fuss of me, in fact, for days, they brought me gifts. I never had the guts to tell them what really happened that day. They couldn't fix that nasty twin tub, so eight of the neighbours chipped together for a REAL Washer/dryer that "Drained automatically."

I will always regret that I could NEVER bring myself to tell those lovely neighbours that I was a ploinker and an idiot. <3

Peter and the Wolf

"Peter and the Wolf" Bored watching the sheep Peter constantly cried 'WOLF'. The townspeople were fed up responding to his false cries for help. Then one day, the wolf appeared unexpectedly and Peter's cries for help went unanswered. Peter and the sheep perished.

Last year I had an amazingly straightforward operation on my right eye. For the first time in over 20 years, I can identify colours and shapes, however, reading, typing and other things remain problematic, I have my life back to a certain degree.

Almost everyone misplaces things from time to time. More often than not it's forgetfulness. Every day up and down the land millions of people will call in exasperation "Have you seen my keys? Has someone moved them?".

For the deafblind or anyone with a large degree of vision loss misplacing things and the inability to locate things is habitual, and extremely annoying and frustrating for those charged with finding things.

Small children habitually touch and move things, it is annoying but inevitable, more so when things belong to someone visually impaired. And so it was in my house. The number of things I'd misplaced and couldn't see or that had in fact been moved, lost, broken or taken must have run into thousands over the years, but that's life.

There's also another side to the story. When things are deliberately moved or taken. Sometimes to see the reaction, or because things were accidentally broken then binned to hide the evidence.

Then we have this - "The most common crime in Scotland 2022/23 was dishonesty. Taking someone's property without the owner's consent or knowledge".

Over the years I have 'lost' hundreds of things. However without going into detail - Recently I have "lost" quote-unquote my entire wardrobe of clothing minus jackets. Entire drawers of jumpers, tops, blouses, leggings, T-shirts etc and specific household items and utensils. Ironically no one came to check if I had indeed 'lost' these things. years of "losing" things as a 'previous blind woman' has been weaponised and served as cover to the thief.

I won't even attempt to describe how I feel yet I will no longer be forced to remain silent - I've since spoken to others who have been victims of similar crimes. Like me many have been discredited and culprits remain unchallenged. 

My family is my everything. The culprit in this instance is going through a tough time, but that does not justify this. In fact for some time now on and off the culprit has been staying in my home while I waited on them hand and foot, including breakfast in bed. That's what you do for loved ones or so I always thought. However, this does not mean I should take it on the chin.

I don't care what the contrived justification is, theft is theft there is no excuse, it is cowardly and immeasurably cruel - but then so using a disability as a cause to disbelieve and discredit an innocent victim. 

To Live... Is the greatest gift

As a child, "home" could be anywhere in the world; however, the place all of us chose to call "home" was in Epsom, Surrey, roughly two miles from the famous Epsom Racecourse. It was the house we always returned to between our worldly travels. I must admit it was a big house, the basement was the size of a three-bedroom house and stuffed full of every board game and toy imaginable. We had a lovely cinema where we could get snacks and watch movies We also had a games room and a music room. Despite having an impressive lifestyle, my brothers and I were unspoilt. One of our neighbours was the adorable Sir Harry Secombe with his wife, Myra, and their children, who were a bit older than me. We had two Golden Retrievers, and Sir Harry had five Boxer Gogs.

My father was a lifetime teetotaler, but kept a fully equipped bar and would go to town hiring a "barman" for the parties my parents threw. Celebrities and politicians galore.

 My bedroom was at the front of the house, so I could never hear any noise from their parties. It was Christmas Eve. My bed was under a high window, I could see the full moon shining in, I couldn't hear the noise from the party, I lay thinking of Sandat close and fell fast asleep. I awoke suddenly, and in my half-asleep state, I felt a hand touch my shoulder gently. I caught a whiff of a magical-smelling perfume. I tried to focus on who was sitting on my bed. She had long black hair with a slight wave at the bottom, just like my mum, but it wasn't mum, it was the most beautiful fairy imaginable. She was wearing a long-sleeved pale blue dress with sparkles on it, she had a shining diamond necklace around her neck and wore a diamond bracelet. Her wings were also pale blue. They looked so delicate. She was holding a wand which looked like it had a real gold handle. But the thing that struck me most was her eyes. I had my stunning, magical fairy bent forward and softly kissed me on the top of my head. Smiling sweetly, she whispered, "Go back to sleep, darling girl. When you wake up, all your dreams will have come true."
They did. They always did. I found out later my wonderful, beautiful Fairy was also called Elizabeth.... Elizabeth Taylor. 

I was heartbroken when I found out years later that she was party estranged from her daughters, who were mostly brought up by their fathers.  Although neither of my parents touched alcohol and always kept a full bar, I always thought they had quite a few similarities with Taylor/Burton. Four highly talented, gifted individuals who loved each other but were poisonous together. The difference was my father remained with my mother until he died. No one should forsake their future and love life for a false sense of responsibility. 

No matter where we went in the world, it was always an adventure and always, always an honour to have the opportunity to live like that.

Complexity

The Solar flares - aurora borealis - have appeared in unexpected places this year and will carry on as the solar storm continues with the unbelievable force of charged particles from the sun blasting into space and hitting Earth.

The severe space storm could knock out Mobile Phones this weekend.
I love the incredible music of Gustav Holst especially - The Planets - He brings each planet to life through music. However, he chose not to write a score for Earth, I imagine even the greatest mind would fail to create an orchestral piece that could encompass the cacophony of noise drifting across space from our home planet.

The Magical sounds of nature and laughter or the wind blowing gently through the trees, the sea lapping across the sands and pebbles. The call and caw of birds, dogs barking cats meowing and the millions of other magical sounds which say we are here. We exist. Our oval-shaped planet is bursting with beauty, love, goodness, laughter, unity and happiness. It would be impossible to compose a score replicating the beauty of Earth and all its wondrous simplicity and innocent complexity. Such sounds would be drowned out by thousands of aeroplanes of every size taking off and landing, circumnavigating the planet. The roar of traffic the billions of cars, buses, motorbikes, lorries and trucks zooming along every road in every land. The blast of bombs. rockets, missiles, guns. The screams of the trapped, injured and terrified. The agonising, gut-wrenching screams from children and adults alike as they look upon the torn bodies of the person or persons who, hours or moments ago had been living, breathing, standing or sitting beside them, loving them, protecting them and even sheltering them.

Nothing Holst or any other composer alive or dead could successfully compose a score to summarize this - our home. 1. Mars the Bringer of War. 2. Venus, the Bringer of Peace. 3. Mercury is the Winger Messenger. 4. Jupiter the Bringer of Jollity. 5. Saturn, the Bringer of Old Age.

6. Uranus is the Magician.

7. Neptun is of the Mystic.

I can't possibly think of an appropriate name for Earth. The closest word is Chaolity.

Cochlear Implants

I came across something I'd written on my Facebook page in 2015 (at the bottom of this post). I can't believe it's only been 8 years since the Cochlear transplants, which have given me the gift of hearing again for the first time in over 20 years. Most people have one transplant; I received two simultaneously.

The dual operation was carried out by two comparatively new surgeons and overseen by the consultant. The 3-hour procedure entailed cutting behind the ears and peeling back the hair and skin before drilling a hole and attaching an electrode fitted with a magnet behind each ear. Records show the youngest person to have a cochlear implant was a 6-month-old baby girl in 2014. Today in Scotland, the youngest person to have a Cochlear implant was a 6-week-old baby girl. The oldest person was a man aged 103! The surgeons who performed my miraculous surgery were a young man and a woman. I've often wondered who did which ear. There's no outward sign of the electrode and magnet on the left side of my head above the ear; the right side is positioned higher on my head and sticks out. They both work perfectly, but one is better handwork. Until comparatively recently, my 'party trick' was to attach forks or dessert spoons to my head, but the magnets attached to the exterior of the cochlear were causing pressure pains. Now my party trick has been reduced to attaching teaspoons instead.

                         -------------

Written in 2015

Dear World,

I've waited so long to hear you again. To hear laughter and join in. To dance in rhythm to music. I've yearned to sit with family and friends and converse freely, not feign comprehension and interest when the reality was I heard nothing nor could I see to read lips, I was there but unintentionally excluded., I existed but did not live.

The indescribable joy of listening to my grandchildren talk and laugh, voices I'd never heard before. The peace and happiness of sitting by the window and listening to rain splattering against the panes. To wake to the sound of birds chirping and calling to one another.

Please I beg. Don't make the sounds I hear negative, full of sadness or prejudice or hate, nor let the voices of News Reporters drone on about how many more innocents have been slaughtered through mindless greed and power-obsessed demons.

How I yearned for 'normality' and re-engagement with the world outside. Yet, I would willingly choose to be permanently deaf and blind again if it would make a difference in this beautiful world tainted with screams and blood, negativity, unfairness, cruelty and injustice.

Dear world, I pray to make the sounds that echo around this hearing world positive and good and of happiness, peace and love. In truth, even though it would be painful. I would happily live enclosed in a world without vision and hearing than in a world of hate.

All reaction

The Simple Things

I've often wondered what my life would've been like if I hadn't sat under that eucalyptus tree all those years ago. It felt like I'd become a curiosity of science as doctors and specialists speculated and exchanged theories about the actual source of my unexplained dual sensory loss. It's easier for me to put it down to the spider bite, although that theory shocks some people. It could easily have been a combination of things. Travelling abroad used to entail vaccines for everything, we'll never know the exact cause, but I've spent a massive part of my life living with the consequences. 

I married had my children and worked hard to be a good mum, wife and business partner, but pretending to see and hear sufficiently in a world that didn't make allowance and inclusion for those things was soul-destroying. It's unintentional but extremely common for people with any degree of hearing loss to be 'left out' in general social interaction and within the family structures. 

I struggled on. I Studied Social work for a couple of years but had to drop out because of a lack of inclusion. The same happened with a Psychology course. I even completed a full computer programming course but didn't sit the exam. I was convinced I'd fail it because I hadn't had enough assistance. 

 I decided to join a Political Party not long before an election. It took courage to walk into the local constituency office and explain my desire to help and about my sensory issues. I was horrified when the man I spoke to told me coldly that they didn't need my help. I almost burst out crying with embarrassment and turned to leave, then I spotted another man in the room. He had red hair and a beard and looked kind and friendly. I tried to lip-read when he turned and spoke to the first man. "What the hell did you say that for Jim? Everyone is welcome in this office, and we appreciate everyone's help". He turned to me and smiled. "I'm Robin Cook. Glad you've come to join us. When you're on the biscuit run remember I eat Turnocks Caramel Wafers". He laughed.

Robin Cook MP later became British Foreign Secretary. He always spoke clearly and directly to me and, included me. He became my hero for his goodness, honesty, and fairness. I loved it when he brought his sons to my house and introduced me to them and had a cup of tea. The man who'd made me feel unwelcome was called Jim Devine. He became an MP after Robin's death and was later jailed for corruption.

Robin Cook transformed my life in several ways. He made me feel valued and appreciated. He taught me about politics, and he encouraged me to do things, he didn't look at me as deafblind, he saw the person. I became a campaigner and crusader. Thanks to him I made a brief appearance on News at Ten. Nine o'clock News and a political program. I secured a massive number of signatures to prevent the local construction of a massive waste incinerator.  

Everything changes. Life is simply a collection of phases - Frustrating times. Heartbreaking times. Loving romantic times. Times when everything is a struggle. Times of grief and heartache. Times of excitement. Nothing stays the same... I learned that the hard way...

   

Reflections

There was nothing complicated about my father. His parentless childhood and unhappy life in the foster home could have made him bitter, but they didn't. A truly handsome man with a personality and presence that drew people in meant he was loved and respected everywhere he went. He was also an adventurer. His time in the Royal Navy made him restless, we were always on the move. He'd start up a business, grow bored and off we'd go to try our luck elsewhere. It was a never-ending pattern.

The one positive thing was that we would always return home for a while. 'Home' was a large house in Surrey with a small orchard and outdoor swimming pool, we had some well-known celebrity neighbours Sir Harry Secombe lived next door.  Eric Sykes, Roy Castle, Tony Hancock, and others lived close by. I loved Surrey, especially in summer. My father was a member of the Gander Green Cricket Club as was Harry and a variety of other celebs. At the interval, Harry usually took a bucket around the spectators collecting money for charity. I loved when he'd take my hand so I could accompany him. He was an incredibly kind generous man.

Being in the UK for Christmas was always special. To travel across the Globe from scorching countries such as Africa, Australia etc. Then arrive at Heathrow Airport to find snow drifts and freezing temperatures was magical. 

 I was 8 years old. It was Christmas Eve and unbeknown to me, it was my parents' turn to host the traditional Christmas Eve Party. Anyone who saw my parents in their heyday assumed they were celebrities. They had taste, style carriage and amazing, good looks. Mum didn't relate to women, but Dad related well with everyone. They were the story of Richard Burton-Elizabeth Taylor without alcohol. Burton and Taylor married twice. My parents divorced and remarried three times!  Though not celebrities themselves, they often caught the attention of magazines and papers and were asked to model expensive brand-name clothing. They happily obliged. 
 

My bedroom was at the rear of the house out of earshot of the noisy party. I loved my bedroom. with its large sash window and pink walls. The window was too high for me to see anything other than the sky. My bed was close to the window.  As usual my father tucked me into bed and kissed me goodnight. I lay still looking up to the window smiling to myself and imagining the wonderful surprises Father Christmas would bring it didn't take long to drift off to sleep. 

I woke with a start. The full moon shone brightly through a gap in the curtains, and I smiled to myself. I turned away from the light and saw her. She was kneeling beside my bed smiling at me. A real-life fairy. I rubbed my eyes I thought I was dreaming. She had long silky curled blonde hair with a shiny tiara on her head. I thought I was dreaming. The fairy was wearing a long pale blue dress with puffed shoulders. I gasped when I saw her wings, large soft, fluffy white feathers stretched out across her back and shoulders. She leaned close I gasped again, she had bright blue eyes, shiny pink lips and smelled of roses and other flowers I couldn't name. She put a finger to her lips "Shh close your eyes and go to sleep beautiful girl. When you wake all your dreams will have come true". She kissed my forehead, and I closed my eyes. I still recall the sense of warmth and happiness I felt that evening. She was right. I had a wonderful, wonderful Christmas.

A couple of years later we returned to the UK to attend a wedding. I was invited to be a Flower Girl even though I'd never met the bride-to-be. Mum took me to collect my beautiful white lacy dress with hoop petticoats and a beautiful silver tiara. When I finally met the bride-to-be, she gave me a huge cuddle. I caught a whiff of her perfume. It smelled the same as the one my beautiful blue fairy had worn.    

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